Ohio child custody: A co-parenting relationship that works

When a family in Hamilton County breaks apart, there are many changes that occur but one thing that does not change is the fact that the ex-spouses are parents to the same children. This requires them to work out a child custody arrangement and while mothers have predominantly held custody, there has been a growing shift in the courts to encourage parents to work together.

Such an arrangement is referred to as co-parenting and, according to Psych Central, this can be a challenge. Studies have shown that when one parent doubts the parenting skills of the other parent, or the ability of that other parent to provide for their children, those beliefs can have a large impact on the success of the co-parenting relationship. However, it is possible for parents to create a co-parenting relationship that works.

Letting go of the past

Divorce can leave ex-spouses feeling bitter, angry, resentful and frustrated and such feelings are known to have a detrimental effect on children. Parents need to let go of these feelings - at least when dealing with each other and when their children are around. Help Guide.org suggests looking at co-parenting as if it were a business relationship. By removing the emotions left over from a failed romantic relationship and putting focus on the children's best interests, it is possible for parents to learn how to work together.

One thing that it is important for parents to remember is that they will always be connected to each other through their children. Whether they like it or not, there will be times when they must associate with each other at events such as weddings, graduations and the births of their grandchildren. If parents can let go of past and learn to work together, they can ensure a more fulfilling relationship with their children.

Relearning how to communicate

By the time that a couple files for divorce, the communication between them has usually come to a virtual halt. In order for parents to be able to parent their children together, they will need to relearn how to communicate with each other in a respectful manner. According to the Utah Family Academy, parents can use the following tips to improve their communication skills:

• Make sure the conversation stays focused on the topic, which should be the children.
• Change phrases like "you are" "you feel" and "you know" and put the focus on personal reflections such as "I think", "I feel" or "I am".
• Create a communication schedule that encourages frequent interaction and that works for each parent.
• Parents should show the other parent that they are listening to them by recognizing the other parent's concerns and feelings.

If it is not possible for parents to communicate directly with each other, they can start by using a third party, email, or texting, which allows them to think about what they are saying and what the other parent is saying. Communication should never involve the couple's children.

When parents are preparing for co-parenting, they should talk to an experienced attorney for legal counsel and advice in how to proceed.